GUIDE
My mom only looks at her phone once or twice a day, so she misses the grandkids' photos and even last-minute plans. How do we stop that?
By the seenow! teamLast updated:
Split the two kinds of news. Anything about today, like a change of plans, goes by phone call, and her phone can be set to let your calls ring through. Photos can wait for the times she already checks, so send them in one batch she can enjoy at her own pace.
WHY
Why this happens
Many grandparents treat a smartphone the way they once treated a home answering machine: something you check after breakfast and maybe again in the evening. The phone sits in a purse or on the kitchen counter, often on silent. That habit works fine for photos, which are just as sweet at 8 p.m. as at noon. It falls apart for the other things families now send by text: "We're at the park, want to meet us?" or "Practice got moved, can you pick him up at 4?" By the time she looks, the moment is over, and she hears about it later.
She is not unusual in how often she connects. In a Pew Research Center survey from September 2025, 15% of grandparents 65 and older said they are in touch with their grandchildren daily or more often, counting visits, calls and texts, while 27% said a few times a week and 20% less than once a month. A grandmother who checks her phone twice a day is, in many families, already among the more connected ones. The fix is less about changing her habit and more about sending each kind of news the way it will actually reach her.
The other common snag is that the phone is quiet on purpose. Silent mode, Do Not Disturb or a bedtime setting can keep your texts from making any sound at all. Both iPhone and Android phones have settings that let a few chosen people get through, and they take a few minutes to set up on your next visit.
HOW TO
What you can do starting today
Make a family rule: today's plans go by phone callNo app needed
Agree as a family that anything happening the same day, such as a meetup, a pickup or a change of time, is a phone call, not a text. If she doesn't pick up, call again right away. On an iPhone, a Focus can be set to allow repeated calls, which Apple defines as two or more calls from the same person within 3 minutes. On Android, Do Not Disturb has an Allow repeat callers option that lets a call through if the same person calls twice in 15 minutes. A second call quickly becomes your family's signal that it matters today.
Source: Apple iPhone User Guide: Allow or silence notifications for a Focus on iPhone / Android Help: Limit interruptions with Modes and Do Not Disturb on Android
Give the family a sound she will noticeNo app needed
On your next visit, sit with her and pick a distinct ringtone and text tone for you and the other parent. On an iPhone, open the person's card in Contacts, tap Edit, then tap Ringtone or Text Tone. On that same screen, the Emergency Bypass switch lets that contact's sounds and vibrations come through even when the phone is silenced. Turn it on only for one or two family members, so it still means something when it rings, and ask her whether she is comfortable with it.
Source: Apple Support: Use tones and ringtones with your iPhone or iPad / Apple iPhone User Guide: Allow or silence notifications for a Focus on iPhone
Time plans around the moments she already checksNo app needed
Ask her when she usually looks at her phone. If it's with morning coffee and after dinner, then a plan for Saturday afternoon should be sent by Friday evening, not Saturday at noon. Anything you only decide later in the day goes back to the phone call rule.
Send photos in one batch, not a streamNo app needed
Twenty photos arriving one by one through the day get buried, and they push the important texts out of view. Choose one time, for example Sunday evening, and send her a small set of the week's best pictures with a line about each. She can enjoy them over coffee the next morning, and a text about plans will stand out because it is not mixed in with photos.
WITH SEENOW!
Doing it with seenow!
seenow! is an app for short family videos in a private group. It can carry the photo side of this, not the urgent side.
- When someone in the group posts, seenow! sends a notification, so a grandmother who glances at her lock screen can see that something new from the grandkids is waiting.
- Each week the app makes a recap video from the clips on its own. If she only opens it now and then, the recap gives her the week in one sitting.
What seenow! can’t do
- seenow! is not a way to reach her about plans. It does not make calls, and its notifications follow her phone's sound settings like any other app.
- Today's posts from the group stay blurred until she posts her own clip that day. Posts from earlier days can be watched anytime, so a grandmother who rarely posts will mostly be watching the day before.
Core features are free.
POINT
Things to watch for in this situation
Set it up together, not behind her back
Changing her ringtones or Do Not Disturb settings on your own can feel intrusive, and she may undo them without knowing why the phone is suddenly louder. Show her what each setting does and let her choose.
Keep the urgent channel rare
If every call becomes a double call, the signal stops working. Save the second call for real same-day plans, and let everything else wait for her usual check.
FAQ
Frequently asked questions
Should we just ask her to carry her phone everywhere?
You can ask, but habits like this rarely change by request. Routing same-day plans through a phone call works even if she keeps checking twice a day.
Will Emergency Bypass make her phone ring at night?
Yes, for the contacts you turn it on for, their calls and texts can make sound even when the phone is silenced. That's why it is best kept to one or two people who know not to text late at night.
Her phone is an Android. Is there something similar?
Yes. In the Do Not Disturb settings you can choose which people can get through and turn on Allow repeat callers, which lets a second call within 15 minutes ring. Menu names vary a little between phone makers.