GUIDE
The grandparents mailed Christmas gifts from out of state, and my toddler can't write a thank-you note yet. How do we thank them?
By the seenow! teamLast updated:
Write the note yourself and save one spot for the part only your toddler can add: a scribble, a crayon mark or a sticker. Tuck in a photo of her using the gift, not just holding it, and mail it soon. A late note is still far better than none.
WHY
Why this happens
For grandparents, Christmas gifts are a big part of how they show up from far away. AARP Research's 2026 report Powering Families found that grandparents spend an average of $2,654 a year on all their grandchildren combined, and that the most common reason they give is a special occasion such as gifts, celebrations and treats (85%). When the box goes to another state, though, they miss the part they care about most: seeing whether the child liked it.
That is why a thank-you matters more than it seems. For a grandparent who mailed a package, a note is often the only sign that the box arrived and that the gift landed well. Silence after the holidays is easy to read as indifference, even when it is really a busy house with a toddler in it.
The trouble is that the usual advice, "have your child write a note," does not fit a one- or two-year-old. The Emily Post Institute's tips start at ages 3 to 5 and already expect the parent to write most of the note, especially for three-year-olds, while the child adds a scribbled greeting. With a younger toddler, the parent writes all of it. Your job is to make the one small part she adds feel like hers.
HOW TO
What you can do starting today
Write the note in her voice, and leave her a cornerNo app needed
Keep it to two or three sentences and make them specific: what the gift was and what she does with it. "Ellie carries the stuffed fox to every meal" tells Grandma more than "Thank you for the lovely gift." Leave a blank space at the bottom, as the Emily Post Institute suggests, and let her fill it with a scribble, a crayon mark or a sticker she picks. Write her name and age next to her mark so the grandparents know it is hers.
Source: Emily Post Institute: Thank-You Note Tips for Children and Teens
Photograph the gift in use, not in the boxNo app needed
The Emily Post Institute suggests including a picture of the child with the gift. With a toddler, the best picture is usually a few days after Christmas, once the gift has become part of her day: the pajamas at bedtime, the blocks spread on the rug, the book she keeps handing you. Take a few quick shots during ordinary play rather than staging a pose, and print the one where her face shows.
Source: Emily Post Institute: Thank-You Note Tips for Children and Teens
Let her "sign" the photo itselfNo app needed
If you are sending the thank-you digitally, a toddler can draw right on the photo. On iPhone, Apple Support says to select the photo in Photos, tap Edit, then tap the Markup button, and choose a tool such as the pen, highlighter or pencil. Hand her the phone and let her drag a finger across a corner. If she covers her own face, the Undo button reverses it. On Android phones, the editing tools in the gallery app vary by maker, so check its edit menu for a drawing option.
Source: Apple Support: Use Markup on your iPhone, iPad, or iPod touch
Send it within a week or two, but send it either wayNo app needed
The Emily Post Institute's rule is that the sooner a note goes out, the better, but that a late note is far better than no note at all. If several relatives sent gifts, set up one short session: one note, one photo and one scribble per giver, all done in the same sitting while she is in a good mood. If it slips into February, mail it anyway.
Source: Emily Post Institute: Thank-You Note Tips for Children and Teens
WITH SEENOW!
Doing it with seenow!
seenow! is a private family app where everyone takes a short video, about 2 seconds a day. It does not replace a note, but it covers what a note cannot: the weeks after Christmas, when the gift is still in use.
- Film a 2-second clip whenever she plays with the gift, with the seenow! camera's front and back cameras at once, so the grandparents see the toy and your face together. They get a notification when you post.
- There are no comments or likes, so nobody has to think of a reply. The grandparents simply watch her use the gift across January, which is often what they wanted to know in the first place.
What seenow! can’t do
- seenow! does not make or mail cards. The written note and printed photo still go by mail.
- You can post only what you film with the seenow! camera. Photos already on your phone, such as the ones from Christmas morning, cannot be posted, so send those separately.
Core features are free.
POINT
Things to watch for in this situation
Don't make her perform a thank-you on a call
Prompting a toddler to say "thank you, Grandma" on cue usually ends in silence or a meltdown. Let the note carry the thanks, and on calls just let the grandparents watch her play with the gift.
Thank each giver for their own gift
If both sets of grandparents and an aunt all sent packages, one group message saying "thanks for everything" can feel thin to each of them. A separate note naming each gift takes only a few extra minutes.
FAQ
Frequently asked questions
Is a text or a video enough, or do we need a paper note?
It depends on the grandparents. Many older relatives like something they can put on the fridge, so a short paper note with a photo is a safe choice. If they mostly keep in touch by phone, a photo she has scribbled on can go by text as well.
It's already mid-January. Is it too late to send a thank-you?
No. The Emily Post Institute says a late note is far better than no note at all. A photo of the gift in use weeks later even shows that it was a good choice.
My toddler won't scribble on command. What else can she add?
Let her choose a sticker and press it on, or trace around her hand yourself while she holds still for a few seconds. Anything she touched counts as her part.