GUIDE

Our cousins, aunts and uncles live in other states, and my preschoolers forget who they are between visits. How do we keep them familiar?

By the seenow! teamLast updated:

Build small, regular reminders into the weeks between visits, so the kids see faces and hear names often: a photo wall at their eye level with names and places, a phone album for each relative, and short kid-to-kid clips with the cousins. Review the photos together in the week before each trip.

WHY

Why this happens

Extended families in the U.S. are often spread across several states. A Census Bureau analysis of 2014 survey data found that about 59% of people live in the state where they were born, which means roughly four in ten have moved away from their home state. The share varies widely: 77.7% of Louisiana residents were born there, compared with 25.8% in Nevada. And the moving continues; in 2025, 2.08% of people moved to a different state in a single year.

For a three- or four-year-old, an aunt seen once at Thanksgiving and once in summer is close to a stranger by the next visit. What helps is repetition. A name they hear often, a face they see on the fridge every morning, a voice they hear now and then: these are what make "Aunt Jess" a real person instead of a grown-up who wants a hug at the airport.

The common fix is to talk about relatives more, but in a busy week that rarely happens on its own. What works is making the reminders part of something you already do, so the kids see and hear their relatives' names without you having to plan it.

HOW TO

What you can do starting today

  1. Make a family wall at kid heightNo app needed

    Print one clear photo of each relative's face, and tape them low on the fridge or a hallway wall where your child sees them every day. Under each one, write the name your child will use and where they live: "Uncle Marcus, Ohio." Add a pet or a favorite food if there is one; "Cousin Ava, who has the gray cat" is easier to hold onto than a name alone.

  2. Give each relative an album on your phone

    On iPhone, open the People & Pets collection in Photos, tap a relative's face, choose Name This Person and type the name your child uses. After that, typing "Aunt Jess" in the Search tab brings up every photo of her, and if you have enough photos, Photos can play a Memory movie of her. If your phone's gallery app groups faces, name them the same way. When your child asks "Who's that?", the answer is two taps away.

    Source: Apple Support: Find People and Pets in Photos on your iPhone or iPad

  3. Use the same names, the same way, every timeNo app needed

    Decide what each relative is called and stick to it: "Aunt Jess" every time, not "your aunt," "Jessica" and "Mommy's sister" on different days. Mention relatives in ordinary moments. "This is the cereal Uncle Marcus likes" or "Cousin Ava is starting kindergarten too" keeps the name in circulation.

  4. Warm up the week before each visitNo app needed

    In the days before a trip or a visit, start a short "who are we going to see?" game at breakfast with the photo wall or the phone albums. Watch a memory movie of the relatives together. When the kids arrive already saying "Cousin Ava has a gray cat," they have something to start with instead of meeting a stranger.

  5. Let the cousins send each other something smallNo app needed

    Messages between adults rarely reach the kids. Ask your sibling if the cousins can trade a short video or a drawing directly, on a rhythm both households can keep: a new tooth, a Halloween costume, a block tower. Keep it low effort for both households so it does not stop after a month.

WITH SEENOW!

Doing it with seenow!

seenow! is a family app where everyone in a private group shares a short clip, about 2 seconds a day. It fits the last step, the small regular contact between households.

  • You can make more than one group, so the cousins' families can have their own group, separate from the grandparents'. Send an invite link to your sibling and they join from the link.
  • Seeing a cousin for 2 seconds most days keeps their face familiar between visits. It works whether each family uses an iPhone or an Android phone.

What seenow! can’t do

  • seenow! does not organize your existing photos by person or make albums for each relative. Use your phone's Photos app for that.
  • It cannot replace visits or calls. It keeps faces familiar in between.

POINT

Things to watch for in this situation

Don't quiz a shy child at the door

"Do you remember who this is?" in front of the relative puts pressure on a preschooler. Say the name for them: "Look, it's Aunt Jess, from our fridge!" That gives them the link without a test.

Ask before posting relatives' photos on the wall

Most relatives are happy to be on the family wall, but a quick "Can I print this one for the kids?" avoids an unflattering photo greeting them at your house.

FAQ

Frequently asked questions

At what age do kids start remembering relatives they don't see often?

Every child is different, and it depends a lot on how often they see and hear about the person. Regular small reminders, like photos at eye level and using the same names, help at any age.

How can cousins stay close when they live far apart?

Give them a reason to share small things directly: short videos, drawings, or photos traded on a regular rhythm, and a few minutes on a call during holidays or birthdays.

Should I show my kids photos of relatives before a visit?

Yes. Looking at their photos together in the days before the visit, and naming who you will see, makes the first meeting less overwhelming.