GUIDE
My husband just joined the military and leaves for basic training for a few months. How do I help our little ones understand where Dad is and keep him familiar?
By the seenow! teamLast updated:
Plan for letters, not daily calls: during basic training his phone may be locked away and calls are short. Before he ships out, record him reading and make a photo book of Dad. While he's gone, mail the kids' drawings often and count down the weeks to graduation, which families can attend.
Note: This article reflects information available at the time of publication. Programs and services may change, so please check official sources for the latest details.
WHY
Why this happens
Basic training is a different kind of separation from a business trip or even a later assignment. For a few months, contact runs on the training schedule, not on yours. Military OneSource's guide for recruits says a cellphone brought for the trip may be locked away for safekeeping after arrival, and that calls, when they happen, will probably be short and less than private. The Army describes communication during Basic Training and other initial training as more limited to letters and calls.
For preschoolers, that is hard to picture. They understand "Daddy is at work" because he comes back at dinner. "Daddy is at training for ten weeks and can't call" has no shape for a 3-year-old. A plan that relies on video calls to keep Dad familiar will not work here, so the familiar pieces need to live in the house, where the kids can see and touch them every day.
| Branch | Length of basic training |
|---|---|
| Army | Basic combat training, 10 weeks, ending with graduation |
| Marine Corps | 12 weeks |
| Navy | Boot Camp, seven weeks, in Great Lakes, Illinois |
| Air Force | Basic Military Training, eight and a half weeks |
Source: Military OneSource: MilLife Guide, Military Basic Training Resources
Check the dates your recruit is given, since schedules can change, and plan your countdown from those.
HOW TO
What you can do starting today
Record Dad before he ships outNo app needed
In the days before he leaves, record him reading two or three of the kids' favorite bedtime books, singing the song he usually sings, and saying a simple goodnight with each child's name. Play one at bedtime on nights the kids ask for him. Hearing his voice in the usual bedtime spot keeps him part of the routine even when no call comes.
Make a "Daddy book" the kids can holdNo app needed
Print photos of Dad doing ordinary things with the kids, such as making pancakes, pushing a swing or reading on the couch, and put them in a small album or a homemade book. Add one line per page. Read it together at the same time each day. For a toddler, a book they can carry around does more than a framed photo on a high shelf.
Make letters the main way the kids reach himNo app needed
Since letters are the main channel, let the kids put something in every one: a drawing, a sticker, a traced hand, or a sentence you write down for them. Write often and keep each letter small and light. Follow the mailing instructions and address your recruit sends home, since each training site sets its own rules for what can be mailed.
Count down the weeks to graduationNo app needed
Use the training length to make a countdown the kids can see, with one square or sticker per week rather than per day, since a 10-week count is easier for small children to follow. The Army says family can attend the graduation at the end of Basic Training, so put a picture of the graduation at the end of the countdown. Then the question "When is Daddy coming?" has an answer they can point to.
Source: Military OneSource: MilLife Guide, Military Basic Training Resources / U.S. Army (goarmy.com): What to Consider
Prepare the kids for a very short callNo app needed
When a call does come, it may be brief and not very private. Practice with the kids what they want to tell Daddy in one sentence each, and keep a note by the phone with the most important things you need to tell him, so nothing is lost in the rush.
Source: Military OneSource: MilLife Guide, Military Basic Training Resources
WITH SEENOW!
Doing it with seenow!
seenow! is a private family app where each person takes a short video, about 2 seconds a day. It cannot reach him while his phone is put away, so its role here is before and after training.
- In the weeks before he ships out, Dad posts a 2-second clip each day with the seenow! camera, and so do you and the kids. Clips from earlier days can be watched anytime, so the kids can rewatch Dad's clips while he is away. Each week, seenow! also makes a recap video automatically.
- Keep posting the kids' daily clips while he is in training, in a group with grandparents if you like. When he gets his phone back, he can go back through the clips and recap videos from the weeks he missed.
What seenow! can’t do
- seenow! cannot reach him during training if his phone is locked away, and it does not make calls or send messages. Letters remain the main way to keep in touch.
- That day's clips unlock only after you post your own that day, so on days he cannot post, he can still watch earlier days but not the current one.
Core features are free.
POINT
Things to watch for in this situation
Keep explanations simple and steady
For young kids, a short, repeated answer works better than a detailed one: "Daddy is at training to learn his new job. He's thinking about you. We'll see him at graduation." Use the same words each time so the answer feels familiar.
Look after the parent at home
You are answering every question, doing every bedtime and managing the house alone for a few months. Ask your recruiter or the Military OneSource website which family support is available to you. Lean on the people near you for small, regular help, like one evening a week.
FAQ
Frequently asked questions
Can the kids video call Dad during basic training?
Usually not on a schedule you can count on. Military OneSource tells recruits their phone may be locked away after arrival and that calls will probably be short. Plan around letters and recordings, and treat any call as a bonus.
How long will he be gone?
Military OneSource lists Army basic combat training at 10 weeks, Marine Corps basic training at 12 weeks, Navy Boot Camp at seven weeks and Air Force Basic Military Training at eight and a half weeks. Check the dates you are given, since schedules and later training can add time.
Can we go to his graduation?
The Army says family can attend the graduation at the end of Basic Training. Ask your recruit or recruiter for the date, location and guest rules early, since travel with small children takes planning.